Oink.
So, remember when I thought that cockeyed lady was the TP bandit leaving wads of toilet paper on the floor of the work bathroom? Well, I don’t think it’s her. First of all, I saw her leaving the parking lot the other day, which means she was driving. DRIVING. And if she can drive, surely she can hit the toilet, right?
Also, I just ran into her in the bathroom. She was walking out as I was walking in. There was no one else in there, so it was a perfect opportunity to check the floors for misplaced wads of toilet paper without looking like a freak. Guess what? There were no wads of toilet paper on the floor.
Previously, I had pegged this lady as being the TP Bandit because I thought maybe, because of her f*d up eye, her perspective was off and she merely THOUGHT she was dropping the TP into the toilet after she was done, but really, was dropping it on to the floor. My theory must change, however, because now I have proof that old cockeye can hit the can. And drive. So whoever is throwing used toilet paper on the floor is just filthy. And I will not rest until I expose this culprit for what they are: a dirty, dirty pig.
posted by Kerri Keberly @ 11:55 AM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
I think, thanks to Alec Baldwin, "pig" has had a comeback as the ultimate insult.
Well at my old workplace the floor would get trash on it because the trashcan would overflow... how are the trashcans in your bathroom? Do they have a cover? Do they get emptied during the day or at night? We must get to the bottom of this!! :)
at last! your blog is now part of the many detective/forensics series that I watch constantly. Now lets find a match on AFIS from every bathroom fingerprint and then get some DNA from the turds
muse--yeah, wasn't that something? i still kinda like him, though. is that bad?
jrae--see, it isn't used paper towels the TP Bandit is throwing on the ground...it's used toilet paper. the trashcans for the paper towels stays relatively clean and usually doesn't get to the point where it overflows. the mess is actually in a stall...on the floor...right by the toilet. which is maddening because it's literally right beside the toilet. you've got to be a real lazy asshole to just throw it your mess on the floor when there's a working, flushing toilet RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. it's automatic, too, so you don't even have to flush it yourself.
yes, we must get to the bottom of this!
locoma--i, too, love forensics. i'll go fire up the gas chromatograph-mass spectrometer! you grab the turds and start getting samples...
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